Your Girlfriend: Will She Appreciate It?

A quick survey of any group of women will give you a huge variety of opinions on this issue. Generally women with traditional values who are close to their parents will be happy if their boyfriends talk to their dads before proposing, whereas staunchly independent women will be furious that their family knew about the engagement before them.

Sadly it’s not always this clear cut, and it can be hard to know what your girlfriend thinks, so here are three tips on discovering her views:

• Bring up the subject in a way that doesn’t relate to you. Either mention a friend who can’t decide whether to ask the father or not and seek her advice, or rent a movie where the father is asked for permission, and say what you think about it; you’re sure to get a reaction.
• If you’re close to one of your girlfriend’s mates and you trust her not to blab, ask her whether she thinks it’s a good idea. This is the sort if things girls talk about so if she doesn’t already know she can probably find out more subtly than you can.
• Think about her relationship with her father. If they are a close knit family and she talks to her father often on the phone, asking his permission is probably a good idea. If her parents are divorced, she hardly sees her father, and she has a step mother she can’t stand, it’s probably best to skip right to the proposal.