You: Why Are You Considering Asking?

Before you decide whether or not to talk to your future father-in-law about the engagement, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why you are doing it. Here are two great reasons to ask the father, and two reasons to think twice about it:

You should ask if:

• You want to show your respect and earn his in return. Assuming the wedding goes ahead, it will be vital that you have a good relationship with your father-in-law. Misunderstandings, underlying tensions, and family feuds will take their toll on any marriage, and plucking up the courage to ask your father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter should get your relationship off to a good start.
• You want to do things properly for your girlfriend and ensure that the proposal, the engagement and the wedding is a special time for her that goes without a hitch.

You shouldn’t ask if:

• You just feel you have to. It will be obvious to the father-of-the-bride if your heart’s not in the question and you aren’t sincere in wanting his support for the engagement. If you’re only asking for the sake of it then everybody will be better off if you don’t bother.
• You know he will say yes. There are never any guarantees that your girlfriend’s father will agree to your engagement. You may have totally misread his take on your relationship, or he may not have realized you were so serious about his daughter. Appearing over cocky and self assured is likely to annoy any prospective father-in-law, so always bear in mind that he could say no.