Tips On Asking Your Father-in-Law's Permission

If you do decide to take the plunge and ask your girlfriend’s father before you propose, make sure you are well prepared. Some grooms say they find asking the father for permission even harder than asking the bride to marry them. Here are some tips on getting it just right.

Try To Meet Face to Face.

Setting up a meeting with just the two of you is ideal because you can be sure your girlfriend won’t suddenly appear, you will have her father’s undivided attention, and he will know you’re serious in your proposal. Most fathers will get an inkling of what is about to happen if you suggest meeting up so at least they’ll be prepared.

Take Him Out For a Coffee or Lunch.

Visiting him at home may make you feel uncomfortable, whereas in a cafe or restaurant you are on equal terms. Make sure you at least offer to pay, it will give the impression that you are able to support his daughter, but be gracious if he offers to pay as a gesture of his support for the engagement.

Explain How You Feel About His Daughter

Before you jump in and ask for his permission, you should take time to explain that his daughter is the most important thing in your world and that you plan to take care of her. Let him know that you have thought through the engagement and have plans for the future. Be ready to answer questions about your plans and finances.

Ask The Question Clearly

Don’t assume that your girlfriend’s father will know exactly what to say. Give him a clear question to answer. State that you would like to ask his daughter to marry you, and then ask if he will give his blessing. Think carefully about the word you will use. Consent, permission, blessing, and support are all possibilities with slightly different meanings.